I WISH I SAID...

 I WISH I SAID...

 ** Note to reader:  This post will be updated from time to time, sharing new "I wish I said...." moments, and a brief story about each of them.  Feel free to add your own "I wish I said..." moments in the comments, but please, no foul language...(use symbols/filters if you must).  Thank you. **

When I am up late at night and I can't sleep, watching the sun come up through my bedroom window, it is often because I am plagued by things I wish I had said in certain moments.  These aren't necessarily moments that happened the day before, or even the week before.  These moments range from professional to personal, things I should have said that could have made things better.  I am generally a very non-confrontational person, but as I get older, I am learning that I need to speak up.  The worst that could happen has already happened, mostly because I did NOT speak up.  Sure, those times when I did speak up, those words sometimes backfired, but I take my lumps and learn from them. 

So, here goes....

• To a Boy: Recently, driving home after dropping my kids off at their dad's house, I passed some kids on bikes.  There was a boy lingering behind a couple of girls.  The boy was somewhere between the age of 7 and 10.  As I approached him, driving carefully, him on the bike trail on the side of the road, he stuck up his middle finger, and as I passed him he mouthed the words to match.  I was quite taken aback.  Such a young child displaying such vulgarity and hatred.  In that moment, I wish I had pulled the car over and had a talk with him, explaining how those things are hurtful.  I even wanted to have a talk with his mother about it.  Because I was in a hurry to get back to whatever it was I was into, I didn't stop, and now that boy may grow up to be a bully...unless someone else catches it.  

•  On an Application: I recently lost my job due to the business closing...just days after I had surgery.  I have been in recovery for about 4 weeks now so looking for a job hasn't been a major priority.  However, I stopped in at a restaurant to visit a friend that I worked with before, not really prepared to fill out an application, but I asked for one anyway.  As I worked through the application, I came upon the "special skills" section.  I was drawing a blank so I wrote something quite brief and extremely inadequate.  Late last night, and into the morning, I was contemplating how to rectify this mistake.  What I should have written, and what I will most assuredly do when I go back and request another application, is:  I have been in the food service industry for 20 years, and know the industry from both franchise and privately owned perspectives.  I have excellent customer service skills, as I am able to easily identify with many different customers.  I can quickly assess escalating situations in order to diffuse it in a timely manner.  I can also effectively train, teach, and lead team members in proper food service etiquette, honing their soft skills, as well. **Update: So, I didn't actually do this one, and it no longer matters. -More on that in a separate post 

•  To My Old Boss and Friend: Relating back to my last job...the one that I recently lost....I wish I had expressed my desire to buy the business before the owner decided to close it down.  The owner, old enough to retire, was quiet about what he wanted.  The closing came as a surprise to everyone, including his newly hired manager, someone he hired because I was unavailable to do the job.   I often wonder if things would be different had I been able to fill the position.  I loved working there, I loved the people, staff and customers alike, and would have loved to call it my own one day.

• To My Long Lost Best Friend: I'm sorry for hurting you, in whatever capacity that was some 10 years ago...it was never my intention. You are beautiful inside and out.  I wish I was there for you when you needed me the most.  I love you, and I miss you.  I had the opportunity to make things right with you, but, even with the best intentions, I somehow managed to mess it all up again. For that, I am truly sorry. 

•  To Those that Hurt Me: I forgive you.

•  To Those Who Believe I have Forgotten: I have not, and I miss you.